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  Cyber Safety
Article Highlights
Insecurity and boredom. Many kids hate going to school every day. They hate the way the system makes them feel like just another un-special machine. So the way they express their “uniqueness” is by acting out and dominating others. This is the cause of most bullying.
John,14,QLD
Power, retaliation and/or natural mindset. Power because it means the bully has control over another person and it is safer to be feared than loved. Retaliation because it happens to them and some people are naturally predisposed to it mentally.
Daniel C,19,VIC
Because there are some people out there who have no focus on other parts of their lives? I am cautious about what I say because everyone is different and to define how it happens is to make gross generalisations which may not be anywhere near the truth. I don’t actually believe bullying happens most of the time because there are bigger issues like abuse they’ve experienced.
Zoe P,18,NZ
Jealousy mainly. People get so out of control and can't keep a grip on their feelings, and instead of expressing how they feel in a mature way, they have to make some sort of scene or impression to show "I'm your bully, your in my command" sort of thing.
Athena P,17, NZ
Because some people have low self esteem and by bullying other people it gives them a sense of power, that’s why you should not laugh or encourage bullies.
Hanna S,15,NSW
Bullying happens because people need to feel good about themselves and bullying is one way to do that, but it's not a very good way to go about it.
Momo,15,NSW
Bullying happens because some people are very insecure about themselves and feel the need to take it out on other people, or it can sometimes be jealousy.
Brittany E,15,NSW
Lots of the time people bully other people because they are jealous of them. It makes them feel better to put another person down. Other people are just mean jerks though and do it for fun but mostly I think it's jealousy.
Heidi T,16,NSW
I think that people bully other people if they are having problems at home or maybe if they are being bullied they want to take their anger out on another person.
Sam T,14,NSW
Bullying normally happens because the person has either been bullied themselves and wants to take their frustration out on someone else and they think that it will make them feel better by making other people feel bad; and they might do it to impress someone and think of themselves being strong and powerful.
Ali Rae M,14,NSW
Mostly because the bully is bored and they enjoy the reaction they get out of it, but it also can happen when the bully might not feel very secure about themselves so therefore they make other people feel bad.
Jess S ,16,NSW
I always thought it was because kids may have underlying issues and need a way to vent that. But then again you get kids who come from nice backgrounds, who literally just like to fight. I think it could also be a follow-the-leader kind of thing, conforming. You might get a bully who’s got issues, might lead a pack of kids by some kind of weird mix of fear and respect. Self esteem issues could cause it. It seems to be more noticeable in girls, when they talk behind each other's backs and gossip etc. About things that they’re very self conscious about themselves.
Cale S,17,NSW
I believe bullying is just some people’s way of getting attention and/or giving them a way into a group of people. To me bullies are always doing it because they themselves don’t think they are competent enough to fit into a certain scene.
Charlie S,17,NSW
Bullying happens because people bully other people to feel stronger and tougher than others, and some bullies bully people because they like to be in control and bullying lets them see that they are.
Joe G,13,NSW
I think bullying happens because people feel bad about themselves so they make themselves feel bigger, or sometimes it's to get attention if their own life isn’t good.
Dakota-Lea Y,17,NSW
If someone is sitting alone or at a “loner table”. If someone spends a lot of time working on homework and no time socializing. Often this is just a defence mechanism, trying to find a way to cope with being bullied. If they were being physically bullied, unexplained bruises or scratches could tell the story.
John,14,QLD
General bad moods or fear around the said bully. May in turn be mean to other people, that's out of their personality ,as retaliation because they can't do it to the first person.
Daniel C,19,VIC
I think most times you don’t, and also I’m at an age where it doesn’t really happen anymore. I think as you near the end of high school people grow up very quickly.
Zoe P,18,NZ
You can usually tell by the way a person acts. Like when you walk over to a specific person they may want to avoid going in that direction, or they may just keep quiet the whole time. They start to isolate themselves from the rest of the world and act so strange; it's weird when you encounter it too.
Athena P,17, NZ
If they didn’t look like they were happy about the situation and what was going on, or when they are crying. Sometimes they might be quiet or not talk much in front of others.
Hanna S,15,NSW
They become uncomfortable around the person or persons that have been bullying them or they become shyer or generally stop acting like their usual self.
Momo,15,NSW
I would recognise it if they started going heaps more quiet around me or other people, and, like, when you see the person that bullies them, they go all awkward and look really, really uncomfortable.
Brittany E,15,NSW
Their self esteem would be pretty low. There may be certain things they don't want to talk about. They might get upset if you talk about certain things (things to do with the bullying). They may get annoyed or upset easily or look like they're not telling you something.
Heidi T,16,NSW
Well, I would know if I saw it, but I would also know if the person was being really quiet or not themself. Also if they were scared around the bully.
Sam T,14,NSW
I would be able to recognise if someone was getting bullied by the way that they would act towards and around other people.
Ali Rae M,14,NSW
They usually don’t act themselves, and they are usually a lot more nervous around the person/people who are bullying them. Sometimes, if it gets really bad, it begins the first stages of depression.
Jess S,16,NSW
Normally it's just a look a person will have if they feel uncomfortable in a situation, like they’re being teased, a nervous tone of voice. More obvious things like just being physically abused, being submissive. The look of what the bully is feeling at the same time.
Cale S,17,NSW
If someone is being bullied I can usually tell because they aren’t saying anything about the thing that’s happening to them, they seem upset and withdrawn from the group, and most of all just seem disconnected from everyone around them.
Charlie S,17,NSW
They would be quiet, and they would not want to be alone in case they got bullied
Joe G,13,NSW
It’s a hard question because most people don’t like other people to know what is going on, but I would say by the look on their face, body movements, how the other person is treating them, and how the bullied person is responding.
Dakota-Lea Y,17,NSW
Yes I have. Someone at school texted me over and over, every morning; a text saying “You are stupid”. It didn’t get to me for the first few days, but after two weeks, I started turning off my phone in the morning, and deleting new messages without even reading them. I think the way to combat it is to ignore it.
John,14,QLD
Yep, it made me laugh and started an insult war that I won. It was a good day.
It is very unlikely to entirely stop online/email bullying simply because it's an extension of bullying in general. But to minimise it, the best course of action would be education, followed by parents and teachers getting in on the defence much like they do in standard bullying cases. Even so far as joining things like Facebook and social networking sites and "friending" their kids, so they have the same presence as the real world. Daniel C,19,VIC
Yes, but it stopped after about 2-3 years in college. It was horrible. You do think of stupid decisions knowing you have to face your bully at school every day. My attendance during intermediate and college was tragic, I never wanted to go to school to face the person who had a huge grudge against me. When you're older, it doesn't have much of an impact because it seems like childish games, but still it hurts. To stop cyber bullying? I think someone could make some sort of technology that filters out certain words when people email or text.
Athena P,17, NZ
No, I have never been harassed, but I have friends who have told me what it was like. She said it was scary and did not like it. I don’t know what you could do to stop it, but everyone should just be careful about who they're talking to.
Hanna S,15,NSW
Yes, I have, and I found it very intimidating and really annoying because I didn’t know what was happening or if it really was the person I thought it was. I would prefer it said to my face than have it written out in words.
Brittany E,15,NSW
I, myself, have never been harassed by someone on email or mobile phone, but I have a friend who was stalked by someone on MSN. Basically, he somehow knew her real name (even though her MSN name had nothing to do with her real name) and he told her that he loved her and that he was coming for her. One way to stop this would be not to talk to strangers. As for bullying, I suggest you talk to your friends or an adult about the bullying, that way you may have the strength to stand up to the bully and get them to stop. A group is more powerful then just one person.
Heidi T,16,NSW
I, myself, have never been harassed by email or mobile phone but there is a girl in my class who was, and it made her very scared for some time. I think that it would be hard to stop this kind of harassment. People should be a bit more wise about who they give their details to.
Sam T,14,NSW
No, I haven’t been harassed online or text, but I don’t think there is much we really can do as the internet is so big. You could try just deleting the messages without even reading them. Never let the bully know they are getting to you because you are just giving them power, and they will keep on doing it because it makes them feel good. If it really bothers you though, you can report it and then the matter will be out of your hands, until the bully tells everyone you “dobbed” on them, so sometimes it is best to just delete them and their messages, but don’t ever feel you can't tell anyone.
Jess S,16,NSW
No, I haven’t. Filters? Maybe links for users to block out others? Maybe some kind of repercussions for those who want to be “email bullies”.
Cale S,17,NSW
I have never been harassed by someone on email or by mobile phone, but I know it happens. I think it is helpful if you have a filter system, so you only get emails from people you know and like. I get a lot of emails and a lot of them go into the junk mail anyway.
Alexander S,14,NSW
Yes, when I was younger. Just some hurtful things were said, which is upsetting at the time, but ultimately you’ve got to remember that they’re choosing to say it over that medium because they are too cowardly to say it in person. I’m not sure we can completely stop it, but if we strongly emphasize the fact that online bullying is incredibly cowardly, you would hope this would deter the bully. Promoting the need to sort these problems out in person and by talking with a responsible, mature third party, would also help.
Natalie K,19,NSW
Yes, I've been harassed by email, MySpace, and phone. It's not very nice, and it was with a person from school. I felt crappy and didn’t feel good about going to school. Surprisingly, there wasn’t a fight. Cyber bullying is hard to stop because kids won't usually tell their parents from embarrassment and not wanting them to worry. I will always tell my close friends, and maybe if a word monitor could watch what people are saying, alerting bad language or threatening comments.
Jordan K,15,NSW
Someone tried to harass me when I signed up to Skype. It was weird because I didn’t know who they were, so I blocked them straightaway. It was a bit dumb. It left me feeling kind of angry at them because it was stupid and there was no point in saying it. Make sure that you only add or become friends with people you have already met, and if you are nice to people and don’t harass them you are less likely to be harassed.
Serena A,13,NSW
No. I think, first of all, there needs to be more education on these matters, but obviously that won’t instantly stop it. There also needs to be a fixed system for email monitoring, whether this is based in the household and emails detected automatically “inappropriate” first must go through a human-monitored system.
Charlie S,17,NSW
Yes, I have been harassed by an American claiming that because I had a fringe that I must be an emo and that I should go and die in a hole somewhere. It was annoying and intrusive and put me off bebo for a small time. I'm not sure that much can be done for the bullying as it is that individual's choice to attack the other. The campaigns haven’t made all that much of a difference.
Eve M,17,NZ
No, I don't pass out my mobile phone number to people who would just use it to harass me. The best way to stop online bullying is to keep profiles on social sites such as MySpace and Facebook set to private, so you can choose who to talk to and who is your friend. Email bullying can only be stopped by talking to the person. You can't resolve cyber bullying with cyber communication.
Jack O'Dwyer,15,NSW
I haven't been bullied on the internet, emails, or on my phone. I think that bullying on phones and the computer can be stopped by teachers going out and talking to kids and trying to make kids go out and speak out about what is happening to them to teachers.
Joe Green,13,NSW
No, I haven't been harassed by anyone ever. To stop this happening, people should put up spam blockers and have unknown people or dangerous people stop interacting with you.
Katherine G,13,NSW
Yes, I have been harassed by email, Facebook, and MySpace. It's harder to deal with than if it was face to face, because you don’t know what to say back. You could abuse them but then you're just stooping to their level. My experience was with a girl who was my best friend for nine years; it was over my ex-boyfriend, and she decided to take sides. It got so bad that I ended up taking it to the police but even then they do nothing. There’s nothing really you can do about it, if kids are going to fight, they're going to do it anyway whether it's on the street, at school, over the phone, or the internet.
Dakota-Lea Y,17,NSW
Not necessarily. Humans are good at hiding things, especially us teens. If we want to keep things that affect our self esteem from parents, friends, etc., it wouldn’t be all that hard. If I thought a friend might be a victim of bullying, I would just ask them. If they need help, maybe they’ll ask for it.
John,14,QLD
Probably not unless I saw it for myself. I'm at the age where it's tapered off by now so that in rare occurrences when it does happen, it's blatantly obvious and quickly dealt with.
Daniel C,19,VIC
Probably not, and if it was severe enough they would have said something, if not to me then to a counsellor or others. Most people just find a way to ignore it and move on with life without saying a thing, and at the end of the day the bullies are the ones who drop out of school at 15 and screw up their lives, so they get their retribution in the end.
Zoe P,18,NZ
I can usually tell. I've picked it up on many of my friends, and they've told me things like “that's the reason why I never came to school” or they give me reasons why they don't go to certain hang-outs, or why they don't want to talk to their close friends because it's “shaming”.
Athena P,17, NZ
If they didn’t look like they were happy about the situation and what was going on, or when they are crying. Sometimes they might be quiet or not talk much in front of others.
Hanna S,15,NSW
Depends, if my friends are upset I will ask them what's wrong and find out if they are being bullied, so yeah I guess I wouldn’t know if they were being bullied, but if they were upset or I thought something was wrong, I would do my best to help them.
Momo,15,NSW
I would probably be able to tell if one of my friends was getting bullied because they go all quiet, look very sad, start acting strange, and when you ask them questions they get all shy and shrug you off. Brittany E,15,NSW
Maybe. It depends on how the person was acting. If I noticed that a friend of mine seemed upset or depressed I would suspect something was going on, even if he or she said they were fine.
Heidi T,16,NSW
Yes, I would know because I know all my friends well. I would know if they were being quiet or not doing much. My friends would tell me though.
Sam T,14,NSW
I would be able to tell easily if a friend was being bullied because my friends would act all quiet and not join in with anything the group did. And I could tell from the way that they would communicate with other people and if you asked them what was wrong, they would probably say nothing.
Ali Rae M,14,NSW
Maybe, it depends on how much they were being bullied and if the bully did it out in the open in front of everyone, but if it was online or by text then it might be a bit harder to know if they're being bullied.
Jess S,16,NSW
I would think so, unless it was in very strange circumstances.
Cale S,17,NSW
Yes, I think so. Because I have known most of my friends for at least a few years and some my whole life. I can tell when something’s up. And if this was the case, I would talk to them straightaway.
Charlie S,17,NSW
Yes, I think because they would always be looking around for the bully and if they were getting bullied on the bus they would avoid taking the bus or they would be very scared .
Joe G,13,NSW
Yes, I would if the friend was close to me because I would notice a change in the way they act and talk and just how they generally are in every day life.
Dakota-Lea Y,17,NSW
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